Thursday, January 01, 2009

that's suitcase not baggage

01:20 AM 01 Jan 09


Happy New Year Mom

I wheeled my suitcase full of art goodies out the door at 11:59 PM so we were walking with suitcase from 2008-into-2009 this year; emphasis on art + communication, with walking as a given now.

See you in New Orleans!!
Happy New Year to US


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Sunday, November 02, 2008

journey in the night

when all saints day
became Día de los Muertos
we sat together again
in the place where memory lives on


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Monday, October 27, 2008

the journey of a letter (two)

27 October 2008
Dear Peter,

I know that you are very very tired now. Maybe too tired to read, so you & Sally are together and she is reading this aloud to you. You know how much I love you two, my dear friends, and I wish I could be there right now to spend time with you – to be present, with compassion and love, to keep you company & to be together. You are always in my heart Peter. That may sound corny but it is true! Maybe because I live so far away I always carry this lifetime of experiences, moments, memories with me – so for us it is folk mass (long ago), catching up in the driveway, sitting at the kitchen table, walking our dogs, the hole in the hedge between our houses --- the little moments, the Big moments. I kept the wrapper from the Stollen cake you brought me last Christmas – here – wrapping your letter- because it makes me smile – you make me smile Peter! Thank you for being my friend – I cherish our friendship always.

I found something recently while walking the dog at Half Moon Bay – the beach we walked when you came to visit – yes in August I was walking and when I came up from the beach I stopped with the dog to take my shoe off & dump the sand out. When I leaned on the fence post to stabilize myself, I saw this stone cross inside the fence post – someone left it there. I don’t always know why I find things but I CAN recognize their significance – things stick out to me and sometimes they really do STICK OUT, as in this case! I thought you might like to have it now you know the story and how it reminds me of you, of us, of our walk there – our day together. The stone – I forget what kind it is – it as a nice feel to it and a little weight, feels good in the hand, if you hold it.

I have enclosed some photos from my Florida walk in April – when I jumped out of a plane & walked 24 miles by myself in the dark on the Canaveral National Seashore. It was grueling, exhausting, difficult, and at the same time, enlightening. When I was really really tired and maybe a bit concerned about being washed away to sea or stopping and not getting up all by myself, I found a letter on the small strip of beach, at my feet while walking, it was tied to a balloon and the wind carried it hundreds of miles then it washed up on the shore at my feet, and I found it in the dark! It made me so happy to know there was communication from a stranger, that this synchronicity happened. I was so tired I could not break the plastic string to open the letter while I was walking in the night but I tied the balloon to my backpack and it knocked around keeping my company. Also, the moon was near full and cast my shadow ahead of me in the sand as I walked. I could now see the shadow of the balloon cast in front of me as well – it really cheered me up and I didn’t feel so alone on my exhausting journey.

I hope this letter cheers you up like the one I found on the beach – and like the balloon I may not be in your direct line of sight but you know I’m with you wherever your journey takes you.

I love you very much Peter – I know you know that!

I will be home Friday ----


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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

this is the breath, this is the kiss

who knew there is a kissing bug ? nocturnal, of course. bites you on the face, hence the nickname : Kissing Bug.

could be around at A Studio in the Woods and it carries some kind of bad parasite you might end up rubbing into your eye. they sent me a disturbing "alert" today, along with other administrative paperwork. quite prevalent as Chagas disease in other continents.


Friday, October 17, 2008

oh what a night

the US Census Bureau phoned to clarify my information, about 15 minutes on the phone haggling over my answers to the recent Census forms mailed to my house. after, a call from my sister, we chat.

when my delays bring me to the Warfield, the Kings of Leon are already on stage. They are two songs in.

rustling up a beer is not so easy under the new regime. frustrating, in fact. eventually at a third bar i get a cold one poured into plastic cup and turn back into the crowd of young sweaty hipsters. an absurd exchange occurs with some dude who basically tells me i'm too tall when i step into an empty space on the floor. this is a public space and we all have general admission tickets, i remind him. we have been here all night, he says, and you are in my friend's way. i turn all the way around mid-song and behind me is a 5'2" girl. you must be joking, i think to myself. he keeps on yammering throughout the song about how i should "duck". there are two or three rows of equally tall people standing in front of ME. what i really want to say is : GET SOME PLATFORM SHOES AND BUCK UP. i won't be here long.

this is the new generation. they feel entitled.

in my whole life, an exchange like that has never happened to me. i have been to hundreds of shows in all kinds of venues. sometimes, three concerts in three different venues all in one night. slammed to the ground in mosh pits & come up with no eyeglasses to sitting pretty in the balcony at Carnegie Hall and hearing an orchestra patron fold their eyeglasses into jacket pocket in the third row.

i am a roamer. i travel solo. i move about the house, mingling in the crowd, watching and listening from many perspectives. i'm on the balcony, i'm in the parking lot, i'm at the bar, i'm in the crush, i'm in the fray. i like the mixing, the movement. it is live. this is THE SHOW.

[back to the show]

seeking sweet sound i find a prime location on the back of the second tier, along the tier wall, looking out over the sound board to center stage and offering a fine panorama of the house. it doesn't hurt that a particularly choice eye candy comes with it a few inches away, and with a momentary nod in the dark i am now hip-to-hip with my fine neighbor.

absorbing this guy's pheromones, i have an air of calm finally. my hair floats behind me and using my boots along the back of the wall i hike myself up another twelve inches higher and hang steady with elbows. i close my eyes and listen. this is rock and roll.

now i can draw this, in the dark.
they fill this space, these Kings of Leon.

on behalf of KoL, Caleb dedicates a song to us, the audience.
if we can do it justice, he says if i recall correctly. it is: cold desert.
special (ones walk on) without sound
i've always been known to cross lines
this is why i came here. for this very moment, this flow of musical communion. it is rather unexpected, the intensity i feel personally. i am drawn in, the pull of night. we share this, me and these kings of leon. i could be walking alone under meteor shower in a state of exhausted delirium. i am surrounded by people and the crowd is talking an audible chatter over this quiet song until it builds to a rousing finale they can shake their fists at.

my second drawing is made closer to stage, off to the right. a staff guy comes over and momentarily shines his flashlight on my book as i draw in the dark. damn, i pulled a blue pen not a black one. not noticed in the dark. i continue on with the drawing all the same.

ponying over to the bar for a last beer, I pull out only a few singles from my wallet; panic look, no wad of $20s from the ATM. all pockets turn up no cash. i curse my unfortunate philanthropic freefall onto the floor of the Warfield, which makes tonight an expensive public foray: almost $200 for a little over an hour.

Kings of Leon finish up and the house lights come up.
the Warfield is not quite the familiar place it once was for me.

at home shortly thereafter, a quick dig in my wallet left here on the kitchen counter turns up my ATM pull. not so expensive after all. i am curled up with the dog watching a movie by 11:30 PM. on a show night. hmm, the times, they are a changing. i guess i am okay with that.


Releaser pheromones

Releaser pheromones are powerful attractant molecules that some organisms may use to attract mates from a distance of two miles or more. This type of pheromone generally elicits a rapid response but is quickly degraded. In contrast, a primer pheromone has a slower onset and a longer duration.

Primer pheromones

Primer pheromones trigger a change of developmental events.

Territorial pheromones

Laid down in the environment, territorial pheromones mark the boundaries of an organism's territory. In dogs, these hormones are present in the urine, which they deposit on landmarks serving to mark the perimeter of the claimed territory.

Trail pheromones

Trail pheromones are common in social insects. For example, ants mark their paths with these pheromones, which are non-volatile hydrocarbons. Certain ants lay down an initial trail of pheromones as they return to the nest with food. This trail attracts other ants and serves as a guide. As long as the food source remains, the pheromone trail will be continually renewed. The pheromone must be continually renewed because it evaporates quickly. When the supply begins to dwindle, the trailmaking ceases.

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Thursday, October 16, 2008

giving it away

yes getting ready for Kings of Leon tomorrow night at The Warfield. I keep thinking about how things intersect and feed, seed.

I first heard of Kings of Leon through Chrissie Hynde.


SB: [laughs] But you were inducted into the Hall [Rock & Roll Hall of Fame] by Neil Young.

CHRISSIE HYNDE: That was the good part. It was absolutely amazing. I mean, getting to play with Neil--it was worth 25 years of playing for that moment.

SB: Were you surprised that he said he was inspired by you guys?

CHRISSIE HYNDE: I think it's the other way around. Is that what he said?

SB: Yeah.

CHRISSIE HYNDE: You know, I guess it works like that in the rock game. I met Kings of Leon recently, and I said to them, "Wow, you guys. Thanks for getting me through the last year of my life." And they said, "Thanks for getting us through high school." That really cheered me up.


Caleb Followill talks about walking in the night:

find an honest moment
been here before
followill willfollow will follow ill follow i'll follow
before they walk away


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Monday, September 08, 2008

revelry :: only by the night

the Kings of Leon are keeping me company. a few weeks till they arrive to play The Warfield, looking forward to the live energy, swimming in that. soundtrack for the river is heavy on Kings, and the new release: Only By The Night. they kind of haunt me. hypnotic. over and over i listen.

R E V E L R Y kings of leon

what a night for a dance, you know i'm a dancing machine
with the fire in my bones and the sweet taste of kerosene
i get lost in the night so high i don't wanna come down
to face the loss of the good thing that i have found
woo hoo hoooo
woo hoo hoooo

in the dark of the night i could hear you callin' my name
with the hardest of hearts, i still feel full of pain
so i drink and i smoke and i ask you if your ever around
even though it was me who drove us right in the ground
see the time we shared it was precious to me
but all the while i was dreamin' of revelry

gonna run baby run like a stream down a mountainside
with the wind on my back i won't ever even bat an eye
just know it was you all along who had ahold of my heart
but the demon and me were the best friends from the start
so the time we shared it was precious to me
all the while i was dreamin' of revelry
dreamin' of revelry

and i told myself oh the way you go, it rained so hard it felt like snow
everything came atumbling down on me
in the back of the woods it was darker than night
palest of the old moonlight
everything just felt so [empty]
dreamin' of revelry
dreamin' of revelry
dreamin' of revelry
dreamin' of revelry

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