dirty dozen

tonight i walk home from the studio
wooden 4x5 camera slung in a bag
and manfrotto tripod over my shoulder

a familiar weight in a familiar place
settling on my neck, balanced
   like a sleek racing shell, days of old

there's something i'm seeking
an image a feeling a . . .
an experience, a journey

now, NOW i can say:
it was . . . love at first feel
feels good, just like i knew it would

at first, a BLACK rectangle
   i fucked up

twelve single exposures later
three or is it four very COLD beers later

i know:

this is my speed

like walking
   not running
like snowshoeing
   not skiing

pinhole
i shoot blind
   no viewfinder
instinct
   leads me
experimentation
   carries beyond
persistence
   pushes through

i'm gonna ride on
   ride on ride on
ride on ride on ride on

i breathe
i believe

here among a million nuances
i find it, it finds me
here

if i was a song, a voice, a perfect mix
i'd be this hot little 4x5 polaroid

once in a while
i've got the magic touch